A SMALL ODE ON HOME SECURITY
Elicited by the decision of the Otago University Proctor to sneak around private student flats thieving Dunedin flats are cold and damp, Responsible for ague and cramp, With bath-sponge walls and landlord hassles, But Scarfies’ dives are still their castles (Though if you think it be more meet, Their hovel is their Castle Street), And though the boards that girt about Be rotten, who would dare to rout the fragile safety hole provides for harried rat where rat abides? At Troy, cynic Achilles slew Tenes and Troilus in full view Of Phoebus in his temple’s heart, Thus did the god guide Paris’ dart. But no Achilles is the Proctor, And many an Aotearoan doctor Inhaled the herb while at Med School, Ergo, I pray Sir, who’s the fool? A Proctor’s beat lies in the pale Of campus, Sir, so epic fail, And if you think such prowling fine, Dost likewise you the washing line Eye-up for dainty bits of lace To sniff and finger? ...